🔗 Share this article Balancing the Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Pursuing a Committed Partnership As a homosexual male approaching 50, my life has involved many, largely pleasurable years pursuing casual sex with other men since the age of 19. In my 30s, I was in a serious relationship that lasted four years, but I never felt completely content, because I felt neither loved or sexually nourished. Truthfully, I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Whenever I begin to date any man, once the newness fades, an impulse arises to be intimate with new partners once more. Questioning the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering whether it's possible for me to sustain a monogamous relationship. I understand that many gay men engage in open relationships, yet when I’ve witnessed them, they have seemed demanding, often resulting in lots of pain and jealousy for everyone involved. In many ways, I want a partner to care for me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I fear the emotional drain this would cause. Is it best to keep having casual sex and acknowledge that a lasting partnership may be unattainable? I feel somewhat confused. Each individual's intimate path fluctuates. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to handle various forms of intimate connections as fixed. Your needs in your current state may well change down the road; at a certain time you might become more decisive and discover some clarity and a comfortable path … or not. At some point you could encounter a person offering a transformative opportunity for you through mirroring your desires in a holistic fashion … and at another point you may choose that non-committal encounters suit you best. Worrying about the future and engaging in the “What if?” game is simply anxiety-based and squandering of your efforts. Try to be present with your partners, and see the value of every individual with whom you might have an intimate bond. If and when you are ever ready to deepen genuine closeness with a single person, it will be clear. The psychotherapist practices as a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in addressing sexual disorders.